Detention Really Sucks When the Lights Go Out
by Inuzuka Notori
Summary: Oneshot. Natsuki's friends try to cut her hair, but she has a special reason not to. Crack-fic.


A/N: Once again Mae-chan and myself have put together a crack fic for you all. Enjoy!

**Detention Really Sucks When the Lights Go Out**

Slender fingers ran through dark tresses as Natsuki lay lengthwise on the couch with her head on Shizuru's lap, quite capable of playing her video game sideways.

"What are you doing?" the younger girl asked, her eyes shifting up from the TV screen for a second before going back, referring of course to the petting.

"Ara, but Natsuki has such beautiful hair," Shizuru replied, continuing to move her hand over it, from the top of her head all the way to the end, close to her hips and lifted a few strands to inspect it, "So long and smooth," she let them fall back down before going back to combing.

Natsuki's face tightened as she tried to fight the blush creeping over her; knowing she would be teased.

"Natsuki is quite colourful even though she tries to hide it," came in a Kyoto accent, followed by some giggling as Shizuru gently poked her cheek for a second, but went back to the midnight locks, "This length though, I'm envious," she sighed.

"It's just because I'm too lazy to bother cutting it," the blunette lied, pouting to cover her true expression.

"Well, then I'm glad Natsuki is lazy," she leaned down to hug around the distracted girl's neck, resting her cheek on her head.

----

"Wha-?!" Natsuki nearly choked on her water as she stared wide eyed at her friends, "You want to take me... boyfriend hunting?!"

Mai and Aoi nodded with serious expressions on their faces where as Chie's grin was hidden behind a camera phone and Akane looked nervous. They were currently at Linden Baum where Mai and Akane still worked. Midori had left a few weeks prior to go back to being Indiana Jones in the desert fighting communists with the professor-- or that's how Natsuki liked to think of it as.

"You need to start behaving like a regular teenager Natsuki! It's been a month since the carnival was over and Fujino-san has you back on track with your school work. No more excuses," Mai said firmly, her mouth in an upside down v shape to emphasize her seriousness. What was more serious than an upside down v shaped mouth? Nothing.

Natsuki blew bubbles through her straw into her glass of water. She looked extremely unimpressed with the four girls in front of her. Girls she used to call friends. Used to. She turned to Akane and with a deadpan expression said, "Et tu, Akane?"

Akane looked away and scratched the side of her cheek. "Nyahaha..." she laughed nervously.

"Ne, Kuga-san, you just have to cut your hair an iinsy little bit! You'll look absolutely adorable! No guy will be able to resist you," Aoi tried to assure her. The happiness expressed on the brunette's face looked as though it could power a thousand homes for a month. She was much too pleased by this situation.

Chie looked up from her phone and held up a pair of scissors, opening and closing them to make a snipping sound. "It wouldn't take long."

"Well I refuse, in any case." Natsuki glared at them, slammed some change onto the table, and got up to leave.

"We can't let this go on any longer," Mai said with a groan as she sat down in the booth. After all there was no use trying to catch up to a fuming Natsuki.

"We need a plan!" exclaimed Chie as she planted a fist into her palm, demanding the attention of all those around her.

"A plan?" they all asked in unison, like curious five-year-olds.

"Yes..." their "leader" now rubbed her chin, deep in thought; and the others mimicked her.

"I got it!" Mai's head shot up, "We fake a detention! That way we're sure she'll show up!"

"But detention for what?" Aoi brought up, "She won't show up if it's obviously fake."

"Very true darling!" Chie then slammed her fists onto her hips, very much like an overdone super hero, "Which is why we will make her get a REAL detention!"

Oh, she seemed so proud of that.

"Isn't that a bit... harsh?" Akane offered with a lopsided smile, "Besides, what could give her a real one?"

"We can make her late," Mai said, "It's not that bad of a punishment, all she has to do is write a short essay, there's not even any supervision so it's perfect."

"Good! So here's the plan," the group moved into a closed huddle, "We meet up with Kuga at-"

"Chie get your hand off my ass!"

"What's your hand doing on _her_ ass?!"

"It was an accident!" there was a smacking sound, "Ahem! As I was saying, we'll intercept Kuga on the way to school."

"What if she bikes to school?" Akane asked.

"Don't worry, we'll take care of that," the girl pulled Aoi close with her arm around her shoulder, "You two get... THE SUPPLIES!"

A dark cloud fell over the scene and clapped with thunder.

"Got it!" and so, the four were now ready to take on the ice princess.

----

"Chie..." the brunette growled, eye twitching as the two stood on the corner of the intersection leading onto the Fuuka Academy grounds, "I really... really... don't like this idea."

"Come on! We'll be fine! If anything goes wrong I'll protect you okay?"

"You better," Aoi sighed, "Here she comes... oh and look! She's on her bike! You owe me money."

"Alright alright! But right now we have to stall her. Ready?"

"Ugh..."

"Three... Two... ONE!" Chie then kicked off the edge of the corner, hand in hand with Aoi and screaming like a maniac.

"WHAT THE HELL!?" the biker yelled furiously as she made an extremely sharp stop, just barely avoiding running over her friends, "ARE YOU TWO ON CRACK!?"

Aoi threw her hands in the air happily. "Nope!" she cheered.

Chie's heart was racing extremely fast. Natsuki was known for her skills with a motorcycle, but Chie had also received the supposed kill count of said motorcycles... It was a number she could most certainly not count on her hands.

Natsuki flipped her visor back down and revved her engine. "Get out of the way you idiots, I'm going to be late for class!" she yelled, her voice slightly muffled by her helmet.

Aoi started to cry and Chie patted her on the back. "How could you Kuga-san?" Chie asked in a serious tone, as if Natsuki had done something terrible to Aoi.

"I didn't do anything!"

"But the puppies!" sobbed Aoi, head in her hands.

Natsuki's grip loosened on her handlebar. "Pardon?"

"The little dogs, baby canines, infant canis lupis familiarises, the wan wans," she repeated.

Natsuki's head slammed into her handle bars in frustration. "I know what a puppy is, I was wondering what ABOUT them?!"

Aoi simply pretended to cry harder, Chie patting her on the back again. "In the forest... there was a box of abandoned puppies. We couldn't take them because we were too into our merry skip to stop, but it was such a sad sight," Chie explained.

Natsuki remained silent before manoeuvring her bike around the two and speeding off.

"Think it worked?"

"No idea."

----

Approximately thirty minutes later, a dishevelled Natsuki wandered into her classroom with dirt on her face and leaves and twigs in her hair. She stared accusingly at Chie and Aoi, who had become her classmates at the start of the new term, throughout the teacher's rant about her being late. Chie thought she heard her mutter something about there being no puppies in the forest, but she was too preoccupied with thinking up an alternate escape route should the door be blocked when she started running away from a certain enraged blunette, to really tell.

----

The school day had come and gone so dreadfully slowly, making it all the more painful for Natsuki to have detention after this.

_And I'm not even getting a puppy out of it!_ She grumbled mentally while absent-mindedly playing with a strand of her hair, a smile flickering across her face for a split second before the final bell rang.

The girl let out a loud sigh and turned to glare at the devilish pair who had run at her this morning. What was that about anyway?

_Whatever,_ Natsuki stood up and stretched, taking her time before she'd have to sit down again for a few more hours, _Probably just a dumb prank... I'll get them back later._

She blinked then, when it seemed that her four classmates had all disappeared without saying goodbye to her, _or, I don't know, apologizing!_

Natsuki just shrugged and lifted her bag over her shoulder, walking out of her classroom and then down the hall towards the room where she was told to go for detention. With a part-sad, part-frustrated expression, the girl pulled her cell phone from her skirt pocket and typed a remorseful text message to Shizuru.

"_I'm fine, sorry I'm going to be late. You can eat without me. I'll explain when I get home."_

She put the phone back in her pocket and with a tired motion, Natsuki slid the door open.

Natsuki had at first been put off by the idea of Shizuru being in her apartment when she got home after school. She wasn't used to the company or used to having to be social once the day was done. Now it was something she looked forward to. What made her sad was when Shizuru had to leave to go back to her own house most nights.

The thought made her pissed! She really didn't want to be here. Who should deserve a detention after attempting to save puppies?! WHO?! No one!

She stomped into the room detention was being held and slammed her book bag on the desk before sitting down, letting it be known to all around her that she was extremely unhappy. A sheepish looking Yukino stood at the front of the room and was avoiding the angered girl's stare.

Eventually Yukino approached Natsuki and handed her a piece of paper. "Kuga-san, your teacher asked me to give this to you to do before you can leave."

Natsuki read over the sticky note attached to the piece of paper, 'Maybe this will motivate you to come on time, Kuga-san.' The paper outlined an essay paper she had to write before she could leave to go home.

There was no way she wanted to do this! She started writing anyways and line by line it was completed. A few hours later, when even Yukino had excused herself, she wrote the final words to her conclusion and held the paper up proudly. "Finally finished!"

She stood up and walked to the front where she dropped the sheets of paper into a wire basket for collection for the next day. She went back to retrieve her bag and noticed that it was starting to get dark outside. The halls had been quiet for awhile now, signalling that even the school clubs had ceased activities and all students had gone home. She sighed and walked towards the door and was about to open it when the lights went out.

"Uh..." She slid the door open and checked the hallway only to find that the lights were out there too. Her only source of light was the small amount trickling in from the window from the sunset. She tried the light switch only to find it wasn't working... A chill went down her spine. What was happening here?!

She stayed on the defensive as she made her way down the hallway, using her cell phone to light the way when there were no windows.

"This is so creepy..." she muttered to no one in particular, given that she_ thought_ there was no one around, "Those morons are gonna pay..."

However before she could go into lala land about how exactly they would pay, a bunch of arms came at her from a room she was passing by.

"What the-?!" she tried to struggle out of it, but it didn't work. Not because they were particularly strong, but with the amount it was hard to get out of one hold without getting caught by another. It was like some tentacle monster. A horrific memory flashed in her mind, of the night she lost her entire collection.

"NOT AGAIN!" she roared, full on flailing to the point of breaking free and knocking away whoever it was, but unfortunately losing a grasp on her phone in the process.

_Damn it..._

"Geezus Natsuki!" came a familiar voice, "That hurt!"

"Mai?! What are you-?"

The lights started to flicker on and off at a rapid pace, creating a slow motion effect on everybody's movement. Still creepy, but now Natsuki was growing more annoyed with the fact that this was just another prank. She was not in the mood anymore.

_Just let me find my fricken phone..._She tried to look around but it was too hard with the way the lights were going on and off like this.

"MUAHAHAHA!!" another recognizable voice bellowed and Chie was now visible standing atop a desk with... what was in her hand?

"Scissors?!" Natsuki yelled, a vein popping in her forehead, "Are you guys still on about me getting my hair cut!? And... is that a camera?" she asked, vaguely pointing to the shape of something on tripod.

"Yes... yes... and YES! My dear Kuga-san! You have fitted all of the puzzle pieces together!"

Again, four arms appeared suddenly, this time dragging her to the chair set up in front of the desk Chie just hopped off of.

Natsuki struggled violently against the grips her friends had on her. Some friends they were! She pushed her feet against the ground as hard as she possibly could in an attempt to wrestle them off of her.

"Stop," she begged as Akane held her head in place and Chie brought the scissors closer to her hair.

Mai grinned. "Unless you give us a good reason to not do this, we're going to do it! It's for your own good that you get on with a normal life!"

"I don't need a boyfriend! I don't WANT a boyfriend!"

Aoi sighed. "But Natsuki-chan, you can't live your life with just videogames and magazines in your apartment!"

Natsuki growled. "Why the hell do you think that that is all that's in my apartment?"

"Chie took pictures. Those seem to be the only entertaining items in there!"

Chie gulped as Natsuki glared at her. "I'll deal with you later," seethed Natsuki. "I don't need a boyfriend, I don't want my hair cut, and I have a social life, jesus!"

"What do you think? This short?" Aoi placed her hand just below Natsuki's shoulder blades, "Or here?" now they moved up to her neck. Apparently they were dead set on ignoring her.

"Ugh! No shortness! My hair is going to stay long!" she fought back.

"We still need a reason, otherwise we're doing this. As your friends we can't let you go on any longer without a boyfriend!" Mai insisted.

"I have a-!" Natsuki stopped herself quickly, realizing that she was not only about to trip up on a technicality but she didn't want to go around telling people yet. On the other hand, this seemed to keep them at bay... but... no, it was still too troublesome for her to be happy.

"You have a what now?" Chie prodded.

"I have a..." she was torn, go through with this and get rid of her long beautiful hair Shizuru loved so much, or confess to them all that she was already in a relationship. What's worse was her friends could tell now that she was hiding something, making it actually impossible to go with the first option.

"I think Natsuki is trying to tell us she already has a boyfriend," Mai chided.

"I think so too," Aoi and Akane both nodded together.

"I do not have a boyfriend!" Natsuki glared, "I just... Can't cut my hair okay!"

"Why not?" Mai nudged her shoulder, "It's because a special someone likes it this way isn't it?"

"No!"

Chie then smacked her forehead and aimed the scissors as close as they could be to the girl's hair before actually slicing through it.

"Tell us who likes it long, or we'll assume there's no one and you'll come guy hunting with us!" she threatened with a mischievous glare.

A bead of sweat trailed down the side of Natsuki's face as her eyes automatically moved over to the shiny object, but then they clenched shut.

"Fine! FINE FINE FINE! You win!"

"So? We win? You're coming to look for a boyfriend with us and your new short ha-?"

"IT'S SHIZURU!" she exclaimed... effectively silencing everyone else.

"err... who?" Chie gulped.

Aoi stopped controlling the light, leaving it on, and Mai and Akane let go of Natsuki's arms. The first thing she did was dart over to her phone and snatch it up, heaving deeply.

"Yes... Okay? Shizuru's the reason I'm not going_ boyfriend_ hunting with you guys and..." she looked away shyly, "And the one who likes my hair long..."

"Whoa whoa wait..." Mai held her hands up defensively, "Are you two dating?"

"Yes..."

"............We are SO screwed!"

"Eh?" Natsuki felt the atmosphere flip from her nervousness to her friends blatantly freaking out, but all she could do was put on a proud smirk and take this situation for all its worth, "Yeah, you are. You made me late for dinner, and don't think I won't give out names!"

"You- YOU WOULDN'T!" they all pleaded.

"I'll be the first to die! I'm always the first!" Akane cried into her palms as she fell to her knees.

"Too late! Text message sent!" the blunette held up her phone so they could all see the notification.

"What do we do?!" Mai yelled.

"You and your stupid plans!" Aoi thunked Chie upside the head.

"Oh man, she's mad..." Natsuki mused to herself, "She's coming this way."

"Run for the hills!" and the four troublemakers all bolted out the door, leaving Natsuki to sigh by herself, face-palmed.

"They're so easy..." and with a happy smile, she started her way home, every so often glancing at her phone's wallpaper: a picture of her, pouting, while being hugged by an ecstatic Shizuru.

~The End~

----

**Mae's Omake:**

"Don't worry, we'll take care of that," the girl pulled Aoi close with her arm around her shoulder, "You two get... THE SUPPLIES!"

A dark cloud fell over the scene and clapped with thunder.

Shizuru was now looming over them, her face hidden in shadows. "Supplies?" She held up a negi. "Let's find Natsuki..."


End file.
